This Christmas was kinda wierd because it was so different. I wouldn't reallly say it sucked, but it was kind of close to it haha. We had no tree, no gifts, no Christmas Eve dinner, no parties and I have been sick for a week... gosh that really does sound like a crappy Christmas, but it was actually not bad. I was happy because my whole (immediate) family was together. We are all healthy and with no major issues going on in our lives. For that, I am grateful. I was a little sad about having no tree because i LOVE Christmas trees! I did not care about gifts, because we have never really been big "gift people" I'm OK with that.
I like gifts BUT, I don't care much for gifts that are given because you HAVE to give a gift. I think that's kind of dumb. What I like about giving and receiving gifts is the fact that you really thought of a certain person and got something that you think/know will make them happy. I don't like gifts that are given after going to a store and just looking for something, anything under 20 bucks to just hurry up and get it over with. In that point, don't give a gift you know? That's just my point of view though, I know people that get offended if they don't get a gift even though they don't want anything or even care what the gift is. And yes, it is the THOUGHT that counts, but when you are not putting much thought into it... it really does nOt count. IMO.
OK so on with my x-mas story. I really shouldn't complain about any of the "negative" things that happened because there is always something positive to replace each one.
* I was sick... but it wasn't swine flu and I was at home!
* No gifts... but less junk for me to find a place for. (I actually did get one gift and it's great!)
* No Christmas Eve dinner because brother had to work... but brother has a job and we had dinn er the next day all together.
* No real tree... but a fake crappy one that made us all laugh.
Funniest thing ever!
I think the thing that makes me most sad is the lack of photos for this holiday. I don't know why, I just did not take photos this time.
Things could always be better but I am trying to live a happier life by being optimistic. Overall, I could not have asked for a better holiday with my family this year!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I know I have been MIA for a while. But I'm back! I think. Life has been so weird since we got back from Germany. It's like I just lost control of it. Life is just happening around me and I'm just floating along. It is all because of the timelines!
You see, ever since I could remember I have had a sort of timeline or "outline" of what my life will look like in the next couple of years, it has always been in the first page of my journal. That is until now. Life was much more predictable when i was younger you know? You are in ninth grade so obviously next year you will be in tenth grade. No big surprise there. No need to sit and think what you need to do to accomplish that really. Just show up to school and pass.
Now after high school I knew I was going to go to college, honestly I didn't even know there was the option of NOT going. So it wasn't really because I loved something soo much that I wanted to make a career out of it. And it is not a bad thing I mean I got a bachelor's degree out of it, but now what? I remember, while still in college, sitting in my bed that was like 10 feet high in the tiny dorm room one night thinking "what comes next?" So I got my journal and I made two lists (I'm all about making lists!) the first list was of all the things I could think of that I wanted to do before I die and with that I made my second list, which was my new timeline since I had already completed the last one. Having a blueprint of what my life will look like for the next couple of years made me feel satisfied and content allowing me to live life. In that timeline were things like study abroad, get married, graduate from college, get a "real" job... etc. I am now in a point of my life where I have completed many of those things of that list/timeline(which I'm extremely grateful for).
So it is time to make a new one. But for some reason I am having a very hard time making this one. I still have quite a few things on that bucket list I made that night in my dorm room, but it is just not time for them. There are also new items on that list, but there is no money for those haha. So0 everything points to me getting a job and making money!! And that is good with me, but now comes the questions. What kind of job? And I could easily tell you what job I want, but it does not mean I have the qualifications to do it and even if i did that does not mean that job is available for me right now. I come to the conclusion that I must just get a job, any job while MY job presents itself. I have done that and it was unsuccessful. Now I will ponder what to do next and move forward. I am excited for whatever is next in life, but it is the waiting time that is just hard.
I guess I have always been living in the future and now it is time to live the present, but I just don't know how.